MTCJ — 13 May 2022
It’s been quite a while since I wrote, and to be honest, I simply couldn’t face the idea of writing. Anything and everything that reminded me of my hospital stay made me physically sick. That included this blog, even the app icon on my phone caused a severe urge to be sick.
It’s a week now that I’ve come home from my first round of chemo, and I feel much better! Since Wednesday, to be specific, I started feeling like myself again. More energy, less nausea, the ability to concentrate for a while, and slowly I started facing the issues and challenges again, without the overwhelming urge to be sick. My daily walks are getting longer, I can face more different kinds of food and enjoy them, and I can handle a few simple tasks like calling the doctors for a sick note, scanning and submitting it to my place of work…
Back to last Friday: finally, at around 9pm, I was free! Freed from the drip that had been my daily companion for the last 5 days, from morning till night! Free to go home! My wife was so excited and in a rush to come and pick me up, she left the house in slippers! :-) Bless her, she’s the best! Leaving the main entrance of the hospital, setting foot in the real world again, immediately made me feel better! Seeing my wife and hugging her — like heaven on earth! Coming home, seeing my kids and my crazy dog — indescribable! Tasting real, home cooked food — nirvana! Of course I was exhausted, nauseous and all these things, but coming home made it all better instantly!
Over the next few days, we established that I needed to eat regularly, small portions each 2 hours, to keep the worst nausea at bay. Also, I discovered I liked strong salty and strong sweet tastes. Again, my wife outdid herself by coming up with ever new things for me to try, never tiring of my constantly changing preferences. I also realised that I needed to withdraw several times a day to our bedroom to sleep. Keeping a rhythm of regular small meals/snacks, often followed by a siesta, helped make the days so much better.
My symptoms have begun to shift. Nausea and heartburn became gradually less, instead my nose and sinuses started drying out, giving me headaches. Also, my scalp is getting itchy — I wonder if this is a first sign of impending hair loss. Up until today, I haven’t noticed any hair falling out yet, but I’ll keep watching out.
On Monday afternoon, reaching for a bottle of water, I suddenly felt a pulling pain in my left armpit. I normally wouldn’t have paid much attention, but it didn’t feel like a muscular pain, and the doctors at the hospital had told me to contact them with anything, even if it was something I’d normally ignore. Since it didn’t disappear, I called the hospital. The nurse checked with the doctor, who recommended I have it checked out at their sister hospital, to rule out a thrombosis. An ultrasound should bring clarity very quickly. Unfortunately, the staff at the sister hospital were far less welcoming and helpful than what I had grown used to. After lots of waiting and a doctor (who complained to a colleague that she had been on shift for 12 hours non stop) basically telling me to stop complaining, she finally gave me an anti thrombosis injection and sent me home. I was less than comforted by this treatment, and decided to go to the hospital where I had been treated so far. At the A&E (accidente & emergency) department, I met the same doctor who had said I should get myself checked out at their sister hospital. He was less than impressed to hear how I had been treated there, took enough time to listen to the detail of what was happening, reviewed me and explained me that — while he didn’t know what was causing the discomfort — he was absolutely confident it wasn’t a thrombosis, or anything else serious, based on what he was able to see and feel. I should monitor it, but I was OK to go home. If anything changed or I had any concerns, I should come back any time! What a difference! This gave me the comfort to go home in peace, without worrying that I wasn’t going to wake up in the morning. What a difference attitude can make!
Going back to hospital Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning to get my blood taken was an equally positive experience! I was welcomed on the ward with a smile, the nurses knew immediately what I was there for and called for a doctor, doctors were always cheerful and friendly and took time to listen to my questions (I always had more questions for them…) and answer them, no matter how silly they may have seemed.
I am now working on eating more again, to try and put on some weight before the next round of chemo starts. I know the following rounds are likely to be increasingly uncomfortable, with more symptoms. Thus, having a bit of energy stored for when I’m unable to eat can only be helpful. Also, my wife and I are planning how I can make my next hospital stays more comfortable. Taking my own pillow to sleep better, putting up a photo of my wife and kids to make the room a bit more homely, taking a small travel fridge to have some cooled foods and drinks available in my room… — little things that will hopefully help me be a little more comfortable, or maybe a little less uncomfortable. We’ll see.
I’m also working on being more active while at home. From a 20 minute walk, I worked my way up to over an hour of walking today, I’m planning to take advantage of the good weather and go for an easy bike ride, and maybe even a little jog. Reminding my body what exercise feels like, to keep the muscles active, the blood circulating and help it recover better from the treatment.
